Neurodivergent Couples Therapy
Many couples come to therapy feeling stuck in the same painful arguments, emotional distance, or cycles of blame and withdrawal. When one or both partners are neurodivergent—such as ADHD, autism, or other forms of neurodiversity—those patterns often feel even more confusing and harder to change.
I work virtually with couples throughout Georgia who are trying to understand why connection feels so hard despite genuine love and commitment. Neurodivergent couples are not broken. They are often navigating differences in nervous systems, communication styles, emotional regulation, and attachment needs without the right framework or support.
My work focuses on helping couples make sense of their relational cycle, reduce blame and shame, and rebuild emotional connection and safety in ways that honor how each partner is wired.
Understanding the Relationship Cycle
At the heart of my work with couples is helping them understand their cycle. A cycle is the predictable pattern that emerges when stress, unmet needs, and nervous system reactions collide. It often shows up as pursuing and withdrawing, overfunctioning and shutting down, criticism and defensiveness, or emotional flooding followed by distance.
For neurodivergent couples, these cycles are often intensified by differences in regulation, sensory processing, and emotional expression. What one partner experiences as urgency, the other may experience as pressure. What one experiences as withdrawal, the other may experience as abandonment.
In therapy, we slow this pattern down and look at what’s happening beneath the surface. Rather than focusing on who is right or wrong, we focus on how the cycle takes over and pulls both partners out of connection.
Moving From Blame to Understanding
Many couples arrive feeling exhausted by blame—both toward their partner and themselves. Neurodivergent partners often carry years of shame around being “too much,” “not enough,” or “always getting it wrong.” Neurotypical partners often feel burned out from compensating, reminding, or holding everything together.
A key part of this work is shifting from moral interpretations of behavior to neurological and attachment-based understanding. Forgetfulness is no longer framed as not caring. Emotional reactivity is no longer framed as immaturity. Withdrawal is no longer framed as indifference.
When couples understand what is actually driving their reactions, blame softens and empathy becomes possible again.
Rebuilding Emotional Safety and Connection
Emotional safety is the foundation of healthy relationships. It allows partners to be vulnerable, to express needs, and to repair after conflict. In neurodivergent relationships, emotional safety is often disrupted unintentionally through repeated misunderstandings and nervous system overwhelm.
Therapy focuses on helping couples create new experiences of safety and responsiveness. This includes learning how to recognize emotional flooding, slow interactions down, and respond to each other in ways that feel regulating rather than threatening. Over time, couples begin to feel less reactive and more emotionally attuned.
Connection doesn’t come from fixing each other. It comes from feeling seen, understood, and emotionally met.
Attachment-Informed and ADHD-Aware Couples Therapy
My approach is grounded in attachment theory and informed by current research on adult ADHD and neurodiversity. Attachment patterns often become more visible in neurodivergent relationships, especially under stress. Anxious, avoidant, or disorganized responses are not signs of failure—they are protective strategies shaped by past experiences and nervous system wiring.
In therapy, we work toward greater security by helping partners respond to each other with clarity, consistency, and emotional presence. This process supports earned security, even for couples who did not experience secure attachment earlier in life.
When attachment needs are understood and honored, couples often experience a profound shift in how they relate to one another.