Betrayal Recovery

Heal from Infidelity and Betrayal

The moment you realize your partner has betrayed you, time stops, the earth falls away; all you believed to be true is shattered in that moment. The discovery overwhelms you, and the trauma of it lives in your body, setting off alarm until the betrayal is healed. Whether a physical affair, an emotional affair, or some other form of deception, discovery is devastating to a marriage.

Don’t walk through infidelity and betrayal alone. It’s too hard. The injured partner is asking, What is real? What is safe? And the offending partner is wracked with guilt and remorse.

If the betrayal is not processed fully, if both partners don’t feel seen and held by the other, then the hurt can linger for years. Your nervous system may get stuck in activation, where every day brings fight, flight, or freeze. Some betrayed partners have PTSD-like symptoms (can’t sleep, easily triggered, irritable, foggy brain), and it’s true that they’ve been through an event that has significantly overwhelmed their emotional resources. We must treat this as a crucial moment in the marriage. Healing is of greatest importance, so it is ideal to act quickly and get help.

Real soothing can come as we repair the attachment bond that was injured in the betrayal. We will process grief, set boundaries, and gain clarity on next steps. Many couples eventually experience post traumatic growth and find their relationship stronger after attachment repair than it was before.

Please also consider that attachment bonds aren’t just injured with affairs. Injury can occur any time you expect your partner to show up in a difficult season or circumstance and feel dropped instead of held. Let’s process your pain together.

EFT has a special protocol for betrayal of all kinds: the Attachment Injury Repair Model. This gives us a roadmap for how healing can unfold. We will pace conversations about the betrayal in a way that doesn't unintentionally cause more harm. 

This is a delicate process. Many couples lose each other after a rupture. Contact me today to get help navigating the questions of "How could you?" and "What's next?"